Why can't we all be a little more honest? This is what I've been wondering over the past week. What's wrong with spilling our feelings? Why do we feel we have to bottle it up? There are a few things I've encountered lately that for some unknown reason, people keep to themselves, or sugar coat things. I don't think it's healthy, and I think it's time we all open up to each other a little more.
This is tough. Your family deserves to know what's going on because they care. Perhaps it can help them prepare for the worst. If you're the one dealing with the illness, talk it out. Guaranteed you're scared, you don't have to keep the tough face on all the time. Let it out. It can help others to understand just what you're going through. It's a seriously stressful situation, and bottling in that stress doesn't help your health in the least. Embrace your family, they're there for you.
Relationship with your Partner
If you can't communicate openly and honestly with the person who is supposed to be your best friend, your partner through all the tough spots in life, maybe it's time to find someone who will. You need to be able to talk out your problems, in order to understand each other. It's vital to continuing down the same path together as equals.
Children and everything to do with raising them is difficult. It's a time we need support from other's experiences. Instead, for some reason we are supposed to handle every situation perfectly all of the time, with our little angels. Yeah, okay. From the beginning of babies, conception and the missed period, do you take the test, with your partner there or do you feel the need to wait for the right time to tell him? Then there is the nightmare A LOT of people go through with miscarriages (or something else wrong with the baby). That would be horrifically traumatic. You have the right to talk about it. You need to talk about it. I for one, would be more than willing to listen. Then of course childbirth itself. The result is this amazing little life, but getting there, did you ever consider how many women must poop in the process? Pretty. Or more seriously, all of the complications that can occur? I haven't seen a realistic birth on a movie, nor do I ever expect there to be. So then you have these innocent little angelic beings (until they become teenagers), right? PARENTING IS HARD!!! No one can ever possibly conceive how much it will change you. From never sleeping in again, never being spontaneous again, constant cleaning, moral dilemmas, important and unimportant decisions all to make these responsible little members of society. My kids are fantastic kids, but they are real kids with their own minds. There are times, where it's impossible to cope, and I need a time out, or perhaps a therapy session. Unfortunately there are those super-moms out there who seem to always have their kids spotless, in designer fashions, starting with the $700 stroller and the business cards made up to set up play dates. Right. I'm not buying it. Perhaps you keep it together, because of the full time daycare or nanny. Like I said, parenting is hard, and real moms need to vent once in a while. Wouldn't it be nice if we could actually get honest advice from each other without fear of being judged? Whether it's super-mom, or the lady in a store who gave me a dirty look when she saw a brief snapshot of our lives when my toddler took off her pants, while getting covered in the ice cream she just dropped, all with "bed-head" from the carseat. (Okay so that particular situation didn't happen, but there have been similar ones.) Maybe I'm ranting, but maybe it's time.
It's time to let go of the taboo of adoption, and let go of the past events that lead to it. It's about the kids. As an adoptee, I can tell you, that I'm pretty sure I would have held a grudge if I wasn't told that I was adopted from a very young age. The kids can handle it. It's all I knew and a part of what made me unique. It's the grown-ups that have the problem, kids don't worry about who didn't use protection, and all the drama. Adoption does not erase the past, don't leave names off of family trees and the like. That can hurt kids more than protecting the family name is worth. Move on, and accept the way things are. If you still have hang ups, maybe it's time to look within and figure out why. Hey, maybe talk it out. While I'm talking about hang ups, I can mention homo-sexuality and the like. They have a right to be who they are, whoever they are. Talk about it, so you can understand them, instead of distancing yourself from your own family or a future friend. It's just silliness.